The Recap - The Baltic States

It was a quick whistle stop tour through the Baltic states but it provided us a good insight into the region's culture and customs and whetted our appetite for the most highly anticipated stint of our trip.

The Ticks 

• The region has certainly picked up on a couple of Scandinavia's good habits. Namely beer and coffee
• Lithuanian rye bread is my new favourite bread and will take some beating
• The epic mountain-like cats and dogs of Sigulda 
• A mysterious chocolate brownie smell in Riga that we tried to follow but could never find the source of 
• Tallinn sunshine that was a godsend 
• The Riga markets that fill four old Zeppelin hangars and sell all of your grocery needs, plus a bit more, and all super fresh.  We also fluked getting a bottle of birch tree sap whilst it was in season - this is stuff that the Japanese pay $100 a bottle for due to its supposed health benefits
• The first red squirrel of Spring! 

The Crosses

No other cross comes close to what we endured below.

In Tallinn we had the privilege of staying in a classy little establishment called Tallinn Centre Hotel.  A place where the shower drains constantly smelled like someone had laid a turd in them.  But that wasn't the worst of our problems there.

For three nights we were stuck in a €14 per night sweaty little cupboard space that looked out onto the sex holiday of a pair of Russians.  Their general routine went something like this: argue, mate, devour a cigarette out on the balcony that our room looked out onto whilst she was in a sexy short pink nightie and him boxers with a tight shirt that exposed his due in six weeks gut, toilet break, another cigarette and then repeat.

We are very lucky people.

The Food

Lithuanian food helped to pull us out of our post-Spain food depression.  Bread chips and the pig's ear that we had at Busi Trecias had us begging for more.

The Drink

Craft beer and the beers by the Estonian brewer Öllenaut win this one.  Any brewer from the more well known craft brewing hot spots around the world would be happy producing beers of this quality.  The Wahtula in particular was a favourite.

The standing of Öllenaut's beers on RateBeer are unjustifiably low in my opinion.  They're not American and they're not by Mikkeller but that doesn't mean that they're not any good.  Get your hands on these beers!

Tallinn, Raped and Pillaged by the Vikings

The year is 1014.   The Vikings descend on Tallinn and take it for all it's worth.  They drink their beer stocks dry, they rape and pillage and they just generally run amok.  Fast forward a thousand years and times haven't changed all that much.

Alcohol and cigarettes in Sweden are significantly more expensive than they are in Tallinn you see.  So for some, it makes economic sense to to do the 35 hour, €90 round trip from Stockton to Tallinn to stock up on as much booze and fags as you can physically carry off the ferry (with the trolley that you've brought with you of course).  The record that we saw was a trolley stacked high with eight cartons.

However the Swedes don't stop at just stocking up for when they get back home.  From the moment that they step on the ferry to Tallinn to the very last minute before they get back to Stockholm, it is a non-stop binge.  We were lucky enough to catch the final leg of the crusade.

Our ferry from Tallinn to Stockholm left at 6pm by which point 95% of everyone on board were half cut.  Out on the sun deck everyone just sits around in groups surrounding a bag of beers, chain smoking and hoeing down cheap snacks.

Then once the boat takes off it's duty free time and everyone begins to stack their trolleys high with carton upon carton before they head back to their rooms to load up before dressing up nice for a night of more boozing, more chain smoking and to hopefully find themselves a root.

It was at around 9pm (when Mr and Mrs Boring were sat there without a beer, or a bottle of vodka or a carton of cigarettes, and eating their supermarket bought salad and bread rolls) that the viking analogy clicked.  The Swedes land in the lesser country, booze themselves stupid and have their way with the local women before setting sail back to their homeland and boozing just a bit more to celebrate before stumbling about on deck, looking for someone to shag.  What a spectacle!

Apologies for the lack of photos.  It was a feast for our eyes that we couldn't avert our gaze from.

Our time in Estonia was focused on much more noble pursuits such as drinking and eating.  Hmmmm....

The Coffee

It continues to flow.

Gourmet Coffee

A half hour walk gets you out to Gourmet Coffee which before you've even had a coffee isn't the greatest proposition but there's a pot of black liquid gold at the end of this rainbow.  Great espressos using various house roasted single origins provide the perfect start to your morning.

Kehrwieder

For a cafe that's located so close to the main square these guys make decent coffees at slightly inflated prices.  Not bad for a quick stop before heading off to see the sights.

The Bars

These Baltic countries do love their beer.

Drink Bar

This one is a bit too English (which of course is never a good thing).

Pudel

This one is a bit too poncey.

Hell Hunt

And this one is a bit too American.

Porgu

This one gets it just right.  It's a cavern bar, it's staff are lovely, the food is great, the beer list is extensive, has heaps of local stuff and is very reasonably priced, and they don't mind if you set up shop and stream the rugby.  The other three are bars you can imagine anywhere else, this one you cannot.  They got sick of seeing us I think.

The Interesting Eating Experience at III Draakon

I normally hate these themed restaurants but this one actually had a feeling of authenticity to it.  It's in an old cavern off the main square with a blackened, sooty, stone ceiling, the only light is from a few candles and the decor genuinely looks like it's centuries old.

A surly wench barks at you, your beer comes in ceramic mugs and you have to fish your own pickles out of the barrel.  Then you drink your "decent serving" of elk soup from the bowl, gulp down your beer and get stuck into a pie.  The food wasn't that flash but the experience was fun.

A bit more of Tallinn for you...

The Beers (they're back in time for Scandinavia!) 

Ollenaut Suitsu Porter, Eesti Rukki Eil, Humulu Padrun, Wahtula, Simkoe Eil
Pohjala Videvik
Brewdog Hoppy Easter
Mikkeller/Brewdog I Hardcore You
Mikkeller Beer Geek Bacon, Beer Geek Vanilla Shake
Lehe Lobus Njuufa
Meantime IPA
PINTA Imperium Atakuje
Huvila Arctic Circle
Hell Hunt Ale