Christmas Markets Round 3 - Vienna v Bratislava

The final faceoff.  Vienna and Brat, Europe's two closest capitals geographically speaking.  So you'd expect similar markets right?  Wrong.

The Food 

In Vienna it was a kasekrainer in a bun, pretty much the world's best cheese sausage, a kiachl, that's cooked to order and is like a massive, fresh donut that comes with a big dollop of red currant jam, and krapfen, a big bread roll like thing that got pumped full of plum jam that wasn't really that great but was very more-ish.

Brat gave us kapustnica , an amazingly oily, comforting and warming cabbage soup with bits of sausage and speck in it, potato pancakes, one with smoked meat and cabbage and the other with goose fat, that weren't really to our tastes, cigánska pečienka that confirmed for us that pork in a bun with mustard is just pork in a bun with mustard and some poppy seed and cherry strudel that either wasn't very good or again, wasn't up our alley.  We also had another "tradelink" that didn't live up to Brno's.

Drinks

Nothing to report here apart from a decent punč and medovina in Brat.

The Other Stuff 

Vienna's markets do not hold back.  Just like the city they're big, sprawling, spectacular and no cost is spared.  Everything is over the top but always so tastefully done.

Brat's on the other hand are small, compact and make you feel like you're at home and very, very welcome.

The Verdict

I'd probably call this one a dead heat as they're too hard to split.  Vienna's are massive and never end however aren't too repetitive whereas Brat's are smaller and cosier but what they do offer is of the highest quality.  They were two great markets to finish on and the perfect way to finish a little stint within our trip that Nix had looked forward to for a long, long time.

I am Viennese if you please

So between Czech and Slovakia we had a short stopover in Vienna that was all about Viennese coffeehouses and shaking off our smelly everyday get up to attend an 'Operatic Gala'.

The Coffeehouses

The three key attributes of a good Austrian coffeehouse are serving good coffee, obviously, holding a selection of the "finest" Austrian and international newspapers and offering cakes and strudel.

Prückel was the first coffeehouse we went to and geez things are fancy there.  Waiters in three piece suits and bow ties, expensive designer bags everywhere you looked (no Bali knock offs here) and coat racks filled with thousands of dollars worth of coats.  You walk in through three different doors (in an attempt to keep the cold out) and it opens up into a massive room with tables expertly placed around the room to offer everyone equal levels levels of comfort. Prückel is true to its name, this is a coffeehouse.  It's huge.

We shared a piece of sticky, dense, sweet apple strudel and each had the Prückel classic espresso with cream.  Both were decent but it's more about the experience.

The generally held belief is that Viennese coffeehouse waiters are a grumpy lot but our first experience was pretty good.

Our second experience, at Cafe Hawelka, turned the first one on its head a bit.  This coffeehouse is as old as Vienna itself and whilst still very fancy felt a lot more homely.  Prückel is bright and open whereas Hawelka is dark and almost cavernous with tables poked in everywhere physically possible.  And there are no menus here, you just ask the waiter what's on offer and go with it.

We went for a couple of espressos again and a piece of "nut cake", on the waiters recommendation.  The coffee was average again but the cake v good.  Thank you bow tied waiter man.  And once again the waiter's attitude towards us stupid English speakers was great.

The Operatic Gala

So with our €5 standing room only tickets in tow we headed out for a fancy night at the opera.  Who said I was uncultured?

Our view wasn't the greatest and standing still the entire time wasn't much fun but the opportunity to do it in Vienna was unmissable.  And after I pulled on a collared shirt we weren't the most underdressed either.

The City 

Whilst walking around the city we were astounded by how grand and spectacular Vienna truly is.  In every direction there's a building that would be the tourist highlight of most cities but in Vienna it's just one of many.  The self guided walking tour we went on didn't even provide detail on particular buildings, cathedrals etc. that most cities would sell themselves on.

Barrie-ometer of "Feel" - delusions of grandeur

Pug Sightings - 17

Christmas Markets Round 2 - Prague v the Rest of Czech

So it may seem unfair to pit the Czech capital against some of the nation's other smaller Markets (Plzeň, Česky Krumlově, České Budějovice and Brno) but this was a fight to the death.  Seeing as the food and drinks offered across all of the markets are generally the same but only slightly different, The Verdict mainly comes down to "the feel" of the various cities' markets.

The Food 

In Prague we went for some spit roasted ham which is carved and served the way that all ham should be - in big hearty chunks.  None of this wafer thin, shaved shit here.  We also had a decent serving of potatoes with speck, onions and paprika from a massive cast iron pan that were bloody great in the cold with a steaming cup of glühwein.

Over the week and a bit in the rest of Czech we had some freshly fried potato crisps covered in various salts and spices, some deep fried Karp, which contrary to the opinion of some wasn't muddy at all and was v enjoyable, more potatoes, this time with sauerkraut, onion and speck and the grilled Czech style sausage, klobasa, which Nix rates higher than any sausage she tried in Germany (Nix does know her sausages - HA).

And yes, that's a Karp eating a Karp.

Sweets weren't as prevalent across the Czech Christmas Markets however we stupidly waited until the final night to try trdelnik (which Nix refers to as tradelinks).  They're bits of memory foam like pastry that are wrapped around a cylinder and are then roasted over the flames.  They come out with their memory foam like texture intact but with a lovely crispy crust and are then dusted in a selection of stuffs.  We just went for the classic cinnamon and sugar and it was bloody delicious.  A sweet highlight of the trip so far.

The Drinks

I'll start with the bad.  Medovina (honey wine) we had in Prague that Nicola likened to hot pilsener.  Mmm.   And glühwein that had clearly been sat in the urn for the entire day and tasted like two week old red wine that had been left in the sun and was flavoured with a shot of vinegar and a splash of lemon juice.  We went to the rare step of suggesting to the stall owner that it wasn't right and after tasting it he just told us to add some sugar and subsequently closed his stall and buggered off.  First World problems hey.

The good was some Moravian punč with sultanas and liquor soaked strawberries added to it that Nix raved about, I gave medovina a second chance and it paid off and the final glühwein we had in Brno was spot on.

And the interesting?  Grog.  Rum with hot water, a slice of lemon and sugar to taste.  We get the appeal but it's not something we need to go back to.

The Other Stuff 

A bigger Christmas tree budget results in a bigger more spectacular tree so Prague was probably always going to take the points here.  And the setting of it's markets in the beautiful Old Town Square look amazing lit up at night.

However, the much more local and homely feel of the other markets we went to made them a lot more enjoyable to wander around with a cup of glühwein than the massive, sprawling, busy Prague markets.

The Verdict

It's the collective effort of the the non-Prague markets than wins it for mine.  Less homogeneity between stalls, the markets feel more real and Prague's felt a bit like the poor man's Brussels Christmas Markets to be honest.

Cz-Czech This Out

After four nights in Prague, we set off for a week around other parts of the Czech Republic.  We went Bohemian for a while.

Plzeň

When in Plzeň do as the Plzeňers (...?) do.  Straight to Na Parkánu for lunch and, well, you guessed it, some Pilsener.  Unfiltered Pilsener Urquell no less.  And a massive meat board too of course.  The Bohemian/Bavarian sort of hybrid influences were immediately evident on the menu here given that Plzeň is only 60 kilometres from the German border.

I began my love affair with garlic soup at Na Parkánu.

Our day in Plzeň was cut short because of the shitty colds that are travelling around with us.

České Krumlov 

The next day it was off to České Krumlov to which a single carriage train slowly snaked us the final 20 kilometres of the journey.

That night we headed to U Dwau Maryi for a 13th century inspired meal.  After garlic soup and cabbage soup Nix went for kuba, mounds of puffed barley with mushrooms and garlic, and me, the Old Bohemian rabbit feast that came with smoked meat, potato cakes, millet, dumplings and potato.  Both v good.

The next morning we headed off on a walk up to the castle (which is still protected by bears in its surrounding moat) and around the city's perimeter in actual sunshine.  Such a rare and unexpected treat in mid December.

To celebrate said sunshine and our 100th day on the road, we picked up some beers and lunch from a deli and headed to the park.  And I had some fun taking timed pictures, despite the strange looks from locals.  

The speck wrapped in a greasy potato pancake was, needless to say, speck-tacular!  Ho ho ho.

That night we treated ourselves to semi-romantic cocktails followed by a fairly average meal.  The castle at night looks particularly good, made up for the average meal and added to the romanticism.

Český Budějovice

Next stop was Český Budějovice for one main reason.

We went for a little warm up coffee and then some lunch at Masné Krámy that was average at best.  After that we made our way out to the Budweiser Budvar brewery for its daily tour.  That's the original Budweiser not the poor American rip-off that illegitimately goes by the same name.

Highlights of the tour were:
  - seeing the (not so large) brewing room where the entire world's supply of Budvar is produced.  This beer is not contract brewed anywhere else which is refreshing;
  - the astounding effectiveness and efficiency of the bottling and crating machine; and
  - drinking unfiltered Budvar straight from the vat.  Beer does not get much fresher than that!

The other highlight of Český Budějovice?  Getting all four of these pastries for 50 Kč.  That's just 2.5 Aussie doll hairs!

Brno

An afternoon is hardly enough time to form a definitive on a city however our initial impressions of Brno were that it doesn't have a great deal to offer that other places cannot.

In saying that, Brno has installed this little beauty.  No, that's not an attempt to better Rotterdam's giant black butt plug, apparently it's a clock.  The world's most difficult clock to read pretty much.  You'd be better off with a sundial in the shade.

We drifted through a couple of bars hoping to get our final fix of Czech garlic soup and beer snacks however all were inferior versions of what we'd had over the previous week and a bit.  That bummed us out a bit.

What also bummed us out was that fact that for the best part of three and a half months we've travelled through countries whose national beverage is beer, where a lot of the time beer was genuinely cheaper than water.  However we're now on a bus to Vienna and that's all over.  For years we dreamt about those few beer filled months and now they're history.

Onwards and upwards I suppose.  That's what you're supposed to say in this situation right?

The Beers 

Pilsener Urquell Nefiltrovaný
Eggenberg Tmavy Lezák 11°, Christmas
Budweiser Budvar Kroužkovaný Ležák, Budweiser Budvar Tmavý Ležák
Dalešice Dalšické
Ostravice Beskydysky Ležák Medový 12°
Minipivovar Pegas Tmavě

Prague, Dva Pivo Prosím

Arrive in a new city and head out for beers.  That seems to be the winning formula.  So it was straight out the door for a few before we headed home to a night of laying awake, listening to a chubby man snoring at the top of his lungs.

Our second day we headed out on a big walk through and around Prague to see if it lived up to its hype of being one of Europe's most beautiful cities.  And it certainly did.  Various panoramic views at spots along the walk more than did its charms justice.

What you can't see in the top picture above is the two foot bong that those guys are smoking.  In Prague we seemed to smell someone smoking a joint around every other street corner.  Oh, and you can still smoke inside in a lot of places here.

Before we headed off on the walk, we had those two perfect pastries below from Šlágr.  Purely for sustenance purposes of course.  A krémole (puff pastry with a creamy filling) and větrníky (sort of like a Czech interpretation of a coffee eclaire).  The kremrole was OK but the větrníky, oh geebaz.  So, so good and such a healthy start to the day.

During that walk we stopped into U Černého Vola for a few hydrating pilseners and got our first taste of Czech beer snacks.  From this point on we began to realise more and more that Czech knows what it's doing when it comes to food, and beer snacks in particular.

Below you can see utopenec, which translates as 'a drowned man' as it's a sausage drowned in vinegar (it's bloody brilliant), a massive piece of amazing smoked trout and syr smazeny, which is crumbed gooey cheese.  I don't know if I've ever been as pleasantly surprised by a meal.

Then dinner that night we headed to U Slovanské Lípy for more Czech beer and traditional Czech cuisine.  Nix tucked into žižkovská fanka (roasted potatoes, chicken breast, broccoli, onions, paprika and garlic all baked with cheese) and me flákota vepřové (pretty much just pork steak with bacon and onion).  "Yes, just meat", I repeated to the waitress.

Our third day we went for a bit of wander to see a couple of things in light that we'd seen the night before (including those creepy little guys below) and then ended up at Zlý Časy for "just a couple".

We devoured the amazing beer snacks below, that included nakládaný hermelín, pickled camembert, tlačenka, various meat bits in jelly and covered in vinegar, and Olomoucké tvarůžky, a strange sort of plasticy cheese (all flavour sensations).

Then after seven pints walked out into the cold night air.  Said cold night air must've done something to my directing abilities as I proceeded to get us very lost whilst attempting to read the map one eyed and at one point even thought I'd lost my glasses, even though I was still wearing them.

Divorce threat number two.  Three strikes and I'm out?

We eventually made it home so thought it best to have a couple more at the hostel bar, clearly we were making very rational decisions at this point.

The next, and final, day in Prague was a bit of a write off, part from the night before and part from the colds we'd picked up.  I did however grab one of these for a little hit.

The Beers 

Únětické Pivo 10° Nefiltrované, 12° Nefiltrované
Matuška Apollo Galaxy
Valášek IPA
Staněk Dobromila Strudel Weizen
Prager Laffe Smokie
Permon IPA Sherpa 16°
Plzeňský Prazdroj
Velkopopovický Kozel Tmavý
Nová Paka 13° Nefiltrovaný
Urban Lezak
Tambor 11° Nefiltrovaný, R. A. Dvorsky
Ježek 11° Nefiltrovaný
Démon
Zvíkov Zlatá Labut 13° Svetley Speciál
Rychtář Speciál
Nymburk Sváteční Speciál
Rambousek Tmavý Speciál
Kaštano Medový Speciál

Christmas Markets Round 1 - Brussels v Nuremberg

The first of our immense Christmas market battles.

The Food

Brussels provides more variety and has a greater international influence whereas Nuremberg is still strictly traditional.

In Brussels we had pelmeni (the Russian equivalent of tortellini), seafood soup, escargot, a witlof bacon-ey stew thing and tartiflette.  All of which you couldn't fault.

A bit more time in Nuremberg meant a bit more food.

Savoury foods we had were raw pork mince with onion and paprika on rye, pork steak in a bun, some chestnuts, Nürnberger sausages in a bun (unlike the well known big fat bratwurst found elsewhere in Germany these are little finger sized ones) and kartoffelpuffer which are potato pancakes that come with a massive dollop of apple sauce.  Nice.

And sweets we had were traditional German lebkuchen (which sort of resembles gingerbread), a piece of stollen and the fruitiest fruit bread you've ever seen.  Would you like some bread with that fruit?

The Drinks

Brussels only really offered up mulled wine and no mulled beer interpretation, much to our disappointment.

However Nuremberg has Brussels covered here.  We had your standard mulled wine, heidelbeer (blueberry mulled wine) and feuerzangenbowle, where rum soaked sugar is set on fire and then drips into mulled wine.  It is fekking delicious.

The Germans also do an egg punch, which is similar to eggnog, and it turns out that after a few feuerzangenbowle, some beers and some of the egg punch Nicola goes off the deep and and quite mental.  This is her mid craze.

The Other Stuff 

Brussels' Grand Place is beautiful at the worst of times.  Lit up with Christmas lights and the most tasteful, gigantic Christmas tree you've ever seen and it's truly a sight to behold.

Nix also fell in love with this merry go round, if only she was 15 years younger...

Other stuff in Nuremberg?  Not too much.  We couldn't actually determine which was their Christmas tree and the markets were fairly textbook.

The Verdict

It's always hard to diss an original and you can see that the Brussels markets have spawned from German influences but Brussels wins this one fairly comfortably I believe.  It's more interesting and it's more unique.  Nuremberg certainly has its place and we're very happy that we checked it out but we'd return to the Brussels markets again and again before we'd go back to the Nuremberg markets.

The Barrie-ometer of "Feel" - "it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas"

A Last Hurrah in Belgium and Germany

So, back into Europe then...

We arrived in Brussels at about 830am after leaving northern England at 11am on the previous morning.  A bus trip that was made a couple of hours longer after we missed our ferry crossing between Dover and Calais as some bloke was travelling with two massive suitcases filled with phone batteries.  He was interrogated by border security and then the police for well over an hour which then caused us to miss our connection by literally a couple of minutes.  Cheers buddy.

Anyway, we made it to Brussels, dropped our bags and headed straight out for coffee to try and get us through the day after two hours cumulative sleep.

We chewed through a couple of hours at the coffee shop, then headed to the Christmas Markets for a bit of an initial peek before making our way back to Moeder Lambic Fontainas for a few beers.  And much to our extremely grateful surprise they had Jacobins on tap!  And Abbaye St Bon Chien, that's brewed by a Swiss brewer, actually stood up to the Jacobins and almost crosses that line from beer into something else entirely.

We also partook in two of our other favourite Brussels pastimes while we were there.

Spotting more invasions.

And consuming more fritey goodness.

Aside from the Christmas Markets, that was it for Brussels.

Nuremberg

A German city we didn't check out the first time around was Nuremberg so we thought we'd drop in on our way to Prague to get a taste of a traditional Germanic Christmas market.

So naturally, we made sure to get our German pork fix whilst there.

Firstly at Hutt'n, a traditional German pub/restaurant that's just far enough out of the tourist zone.

By the way, that is actually one meal that we split onto two plates.  We love you German portions.

And then at Schaufelewartschaft, which is way out of tourist zone and served us up possibly the most tender pork we've ever eaten.  The meat literally fell off the bone.

We joined a few tables of businessmen ordering that to themselves and downing a few beers on your average Monday lunch meeting.  How anyone can go back to work after finishing that is beyond me given that we shared it and both ended up in food comas.


Finally, dotted all around the city are little Brezen Kolb stands selling extremely tasty pretzels filled with an array of meats and cheeses.  It was hard to go past the impossibly creamy camembert!

Stay tuned for Christmas Markets Part 1 - Brussels v Nuremberg

Pug Sightings (!) - 15

The Beer

Cuvee des Jacobins Rouge
Zinnebir X-mas
BFM Abbaye St Bon Chien
La Rullés Estivale
Cazeau Tournay Triple
Dupont Avec les Bons Voeux
De Dolle Oerbier

Huppendorfer Winter Weizen
Unknown Brewery Winterfestbier, Dunkles Bock

A Big Soppy Thank You

As you've possibly worked out (or probably not even noticed) we've been on a blogging hiatus for the past month while we've been taking it easy, catching up with friends and family in England.

Some of the highlights of our last month, in no particular order, are:

Going on a shoot in England's south west where it poured with rain, blew its arse off and struggled to get above 5 degrees for the entire day.

An amazing curry feast in Fleet with Jo and Fiona.

<envisage picture of said mouth watering curry feast>

Arriving at a train station called Headcorn.

Finding some of Banksy's work in Bristol, where he honed his skills.

The Manchester Christmas Markets.

Travelling first class on a train between London and Bristol, because it was a third of the price of travelling in second class.  Obviously.

My first ever "frost over".

Drinking in The Nutshell, the UK's smallest pub.

So thank you to Fiona, Jo, Lucy, Linda, Mark, Jessie, Janet, Andy, Grant, Tania, Sophie and Tom for putting us up/putting up with us and giving us something that felt like normal home life again.

Now, onto some European Christmas Markets and that bitterly cold Eastern European winter...