The Recap - Scandinavia

The first three quarters of the most highly anticipated stint of our trip did not let us down.

Scandinavia is beautiful.

Scandinavians know how to eat and drink.

Scandinavians know how to live.

There's little wonder left in our minds as to why these countries have the highest qualities of life of anyone around the world.

What We'll Miss

• The rabbit that lives in the cemetery in central Stockholm 
• Dime in all of its glorious iterations - ice cream, cookies, chocolate... 
• Scandinavian sunshine.  You've heard the phrase, 'he/she/they worship the sun'.  You don't have a proper grasp of that saying until you've seen Scandinavians sitting in the sun.  They get comfortable in their chair, they close their eyes and then they soak it in.  They soak it in so much that you almost feel like tapping them on the shoulder and telling them to leave some for you
• Smoked salmon.  So many times over and it never gets old
• The simplicity of life.  Public transport that is ridiculously efficient and easy to decipher.  Paying with everything with EFTPOS is pretty much a dream realised for me.  And everything is clean and safe and almost how you picture the perfect world to be
• Those Norwegian landscapes.  Wow
• Salted licorice where our favourite was Salty Silds that are salted licorice herring shaped jubes covered in so much salt it's not funny 
• Scandinavian coffee, oh how we'll miss you

• Being mistaken as Scandinavian thanks to Nix's blonde locks and my Viking-like beard
• The Viking jokes and comparisons that say and write themselves
• The effortless coolness of the Scandinavians.  I think that's also a bad though, those bastards... 
• You get what you pay for.  Yes, things may be super expensive but you can guarantee whatever you buy will be well made and made using only the best produce 
• The logic and intellect of the people that allows them to navigate situations like lining up for a coffee without feeling the need to push in, or pull some other shifty move, makes anal people like us happy 
• Mikkeller.  BOOM
• Blueberries.  Every opportunity that I had to have something blåbær flavoured nothing else got a look in
• The cleanliness of the air, even in cities, is a beautiful thing

What We Won't Miss 

• A lack of cats is almost a deal breaker.  Hmm, maybe not
• Swedish alcohol laws that match Australia's
• Forcing me to question my right wing ideologies.  The Iron Monk is still a great man 
• Prices! 
• Norwegian prices!! 

As you can see, there's a lot to like and not much to dislike...

 The Food

Pastries win here.  In particular the Swedish Cardamom Kanelbullar from Saturnus and the rhubarb and custard "croissant" from Meyers Baker in Copenhagen.  Omnomnom...

The Drink

It has to be this.

Yeastus Christus is a pretty good beer.  Chuck it in Chardonnay barrels for a while and it becomes a bloody amazing beer.  When we considered which drink was the best of this stint we quickly spouted the same beer at the same time.  #doublejinx

The Beer Count - 54

Norway in a Nutshell

Another overnight ferry got us to Norway and this time we were lucky enough to share the sleeping quarters (read ferry conference room) with a group of chubby, Viking-like characters that managed to create a sleeping environment akin to a jungle.

The bus and couple of ferries that took us up the Norwegian coast soon laid out why we put ourselves through those unenviable sleeping experiences.

<insert beautiful photos that we never actually took>

We based ourselves in Bergen for a few nights to achieve a couple of essential Norwegian experiences - a trek up into the mountains and a journey deep into the country's world famous fjords.

First up was the trek.   Bergen is framed by multiple mountains, one of which our hostel was rather conveniently nestled under and from it we began the climb up Ulriken in hope of connecting with Fløyen, should we not wander too far into the Norwegian wilderness.

We took off in the season's latest hiking gear shoes that have essentially become sandles and some banging shorts that exposed my well toned hiking calves.  Lucky you, Bergen.

Things started off easily enough with a nice gradual incline but soon enough Nix was doing the splits climbing up rocks and we were physically crawling up the mountain.  It was at this point that we thought we were pretty hardcore until an eighty year old pushed past us as he ran back down the hill having already reached the top.  We pushed on and were treated to this.

Then began the trek to Fløyen where getting lost was never going to be an option given half of Bergen was out doing the trek seeing as it was a public holiday for them.  And I mean everyone - kids, dogs, grandmas, babies on shoulders...  These people are actually mad.

With views like these and that beautiful Scandinavian sun kissing your skin you can see why it might become somewhat of an addiction.

Five and a half hours after leaving our hostel we hit Fløyen and then descended into town for low fives, espressos, a mind-blowingly good hot dog, fish soup and the nectar of the Gods.  Yeah, we were pretty happy with ourselves at this point.

The following morning we staggered stiffly out of bed for this post's namesake, Norway in a Nutshell.  A tour where you book a bunch public transport tickets and venture into the Norwegian countryside to get a taste of what makes this one of the world's most picture perfect countries.

First up is a train to Voss.

Followed by a bus to Gudvangen,

where you connect with a ferry that takes you through the Nærøyfjord and the Aurlandsfjord and drops you in Flåm (pronounced Flawm and so much fun to say in a cheesy Norwegian accent).

After that you hop on the world famous Flåm Railway that takes you past scenery like this

to a waterfall like this

and drops you in snowy Myrdal.

The hype is not misplaced.  If you haven't already worked it out, Norway really is that beautiful.

Who cares if you pay $7 for a Coke, you could pay twice that and it still wouldn't feel like you're being shortchanged.

An overnight train then got us to Oslo for a brief eight hours exploring the city.

Tim Wendleboe

First up was a little coffee tasting session/experience/extravaganza from the godfather of modern coffee.

Sometimes people can take something that you thought you had a pretty good idea about and take it to somewhere that you'd never actually conceptualised it getting to.  That's what Tim Wendleboe has done to coffee.  Having a couple of coffees here is not just having a couple of coffees.  It is a full blown tasting experience and you are cheating life if a coffee from here is your morning hit.

The Viking Museum

Now that we were sufficiently caffeinated it was off to the Viking Museum where the Museum's centrepieces are three incredible Viking ships which are truly awe inspiring.

We then spent our final 30 krone on a hot dog that we shared with these guys.

Some Sculptures

Our final stop was The Vigeland Park to check some of these strange and interesting sculptures.  Pick the seagull photobomb.

Some Sleep

After that we headed back to an actual hotel for some last minute preparation, for our trip's most important day, and the best night's sleep we've had in months.  We (and now you) thought Norway was nice.  Wait 'til you see what we have coming.

The Beers 

Lervig Belgian Pale Ale, Kristenmannsblod, Konrads Stout
Beer Here Henrik Kaffesort, Mørke Henrik
Haandbryggeriet Dobbel Dose, Belgian Pale Ale, Berry Blend
Naparbier/Haandbryggeriet Eskua Saison
Ægir Double Chocolate Chili Stout

Copenhagen and Friends

Great food, great coffee and legendary beer bars all encased in the most beautiful of cities.  We've waited to be inside you for a long, long time Copenhagen.

The Beer Bars

Who are we kidding.  Yes, Copenhagen is very beautiful and it has the great coffee and the great food scene but there was one main drawcard - the world's premier gypsy brewer and his world famous beer bars.  The big M.

Mikkeller and Friends

This is a place of beer geek legend.  If Mikkeller Sthlm is already the bar of our dreams then I'm not really what this is because it's at a whole different level.

40 taps from Mikkeller and his friends and when his friends are from the upper echelons of the beer world you know that you're in for something special going for a drink here.

This is the kind of place that you have to drink tactically and in a team.  40 taps to get through over a couple of nights is hard enough work as it is but when something runs out and is immediately replaced with something else equally as sexy they have you on your knees.

It's the finer touches like splitting two glasses of two different barrel aged editions of Funky E* into four separate glasses so you can drink them side by side that makes places like this great.  Two nights weren't enough and ten nights still wouldn't be enough.  Expectations were smashed.

Mikkeller Bar

The original that is a bit like a scaled down version of Mikkeller and Friends with less friends.

Fermentoren

We thought it was best to get a third opinion on Copenhagen's beer scene so dropped into here for a few.  In a lot of cities around the world this would be it's number one beer bar.  20 taps full of quality and a bottle list consisting of just big dark beers, barley wines and sours.  All in surroundings that are a bit cosier than that of the Mikkeller bars.

The Noms

Pastries from Danmark

Yes, Danish pastries if you will.  But no, you don't walk into a bakery asking for "two Danish pastries please".  That would make you look like a dick.  We had various things from Meyers Bageri and Lagkagehuset filled with custard and jam and chocolate and more and all were bloody delightful.

relæ

My partner in eating has already debriefed you on this one - Michelin Meal, Take Three

Organic Hot Dog

A goat sausage in a homemade seeded bun with "everything" where everything is some good shit.  Mmmmmmm, look at that thing....

Meatball Sandwich at Smagsløget

Our search continues for the best ever sandwich.  Unfortunately Portugal's bar is still too high.

Torvehallerne Market 

We just couldn't stay away from this place.  At literally every turn there is another stand serving up something that has you reaching for your wallet and looking for more stomach space.  It appears that unless you're offering up fare that meets the highest of standards, you're not getting a look in for a space in this market.

We had a duck confit sandwich at Ma Poule that is pretty much perfection inside a bread roll, a mango and skyr (an Icelandic sort of cream cheese yoghurt) porridge at GRØD that had surprisingly little sweetness to it but was very good and a decent helping of Smørebrød - small open sandwiches that come in a mind boggling number of iterations and are the jewel in Denmark's culinary crown.

We tucked into a potato, with chicken salad and crispy bacon, fried fish fillet with remoulade and the show stopper - a steak tartar that was packed with a ridiculous amount of flavour.  Raw horseradish is pretty much the best thing ever.  From now on when I eat dinner, on the table I'd like: salt and pepper, dried chili and raw grated horseradish.  On the double Nix.

The Black Stuff

Keep it coming please.

Coffee Collective

We had coffees at both their Jægersborggade location and the Torvehallerne Market location.  Faultless.

Service, quality, complexity, attention to detail.  Check, check, check, check.

Democratic Coffee 

No Koppi roasted beans liked we'd hoped but still very nice espressos and a V60 using Drop Coffee beans.

Some Other Cool Things

Little Mermaid 

It's like Brussels' Mannekin Pis, when you're in Copenhagen you have to see it.  But do you really have to see it?

Naps in the Sunshine 

A post feed siesta down here in the sunshine was an inspired decision.

Some other nice bits of Copenhagen

ARoS in Aarhus

We dropped in to Aarhus for a night on our way to the top of Denmark to check out ARoS - a modern art museum.  Because we're so arty and shit, you know?

Highlights were The Boy (by an Aussie!), Wes Lang's exhibition (of which I got no photos and copped it) and the ARoS Rainbow which sits on top of the museum and gives sweeping views out over Aarhus in, well, all colours of the rainbow.

We'd waited so long for Copenhagen and Denmark and all of its beery goodness then all of a sudden it was gone.

After doing the Nordic city, beery, coffee, foody thing it was time for some nature and we were off to the Grand Daddy of all things natural - Norway.

The Beers

Mikkeller Monks Brew, Nelson Sauvin IIPA, It's Alive BA Chardonnay, Funky E* BA Sauternes and Chardonnay, YS2 Lambicus, Spontanmandarin, Spontanbeetroot, Spontanrosehip, Black Moon, Cù’t Cà Phê Bia, Koppi Barley Wine Ale
To Øl Yeastus Christus, Yeastus Christus Super Sour, Goliat BA Bourbon, Sans Frontiere, Sur Maelk, Mine Is Bigger Than Yours BA Muscatel
Lervig Galaxy IPA
All In/Lervig Imperial Porter
All In/Stronzo 100% Viking
Beer Here Executioner, Nordic Rye, Harwood Brown
Omnipollo Astral
Beerbliotek Pale Ale Raspberry Ale
Brodie's Oyster Tea Stout
De Dolle Boskeun
Aarhus Bryghus Snapper IPL, Sour Dragon
Stillwater Stateside
Hoppin' Frog B.O.R.I.S.