The Recap - The Balkans (Part II)

Corfu, Macedonia and Bulgaria. Definitely the laziest chunk of our trip and quite possibly the laziest few weeks of our lives. There appears to be a very strong inverse relationship between the strength of our tan and the number of things achieved during our days.

What We'll Miss

• The Ohrid fruit and veg market is quite comfortably the best fruit and veg market that we've come across in Europe. The stone fruits and berries in particular are the ones of your dreams
• Automatic coffee machines are on every corner in Bulgaria and given that I've forgotten what a good coffee actually tastes like, walking past and not popping in the equivalent 30c for a quick "espresso" would've just felt wrong
• Swimming everyday and losing a few kilograms was a nice change

What We Won't Miss 

• Chihuahuas. I've crunched the numbers and there are officially 1.2 chihuahuas to every 1 person in Bulgaria. You know when a cat walks proudly alongside you that you're not a real dog
• Bulgarian for thank you, phonetically, is blahgohdahryah. I asked a couple of Bulgarians how to pronounce it and both times after my butchered attempt they stared at me and said, "just say merci"
• Whinging, whining, little sooky children at the beach. Bring back those well behaved German kids!
• Average food. So much average food..
• I thought that Perth's roadworks were an eyesore and an inconvenience. That was before we went to Sofia. The city has essentially been divided in two and crossing to the other side of the main road which would've normally taken a minute now takes at least 30
• Seeing things on beaches that can never be unseen - old, saggy, brown, oiled boobs, kids pooing in the sand, way too many nude kids, semi-erect blokes in budgie smugglers - the list goes on

The Food

The gyros that we had in Corfu was an edible oasis in a desert of shit. It's definitely not a region to travel to for its culinary delights.

The worst of which was a slice of pizza that we had in Ohrid one night. The toppings were passable but the cheese that they'd used was some strange sort of spreadable cheese thing that was worthy of the odd gag. To top it all off it wasn't served on a serviette or a piece of cardboard but a massive square slice of wafer. What the actually f*ck.

The Drink

What's better than paying $2.20 for a 2L PET bottle of beer? Getting home to realise that you've paid $2.20 for a 2L PET that comes with a 20% bonus!! That kind of news was worthy of a beer.

Bye bye Balkans. Hellooooo Turkey!

Ohrid, OH for Awesome

No dribble for this Macedonian beauty, just some photos from a pretty spectacular few days...

 

Corfu all over you...

When we'd initially set off on this trip we'd always planned to spend a few weeks hopping between Greek islands, immersing ourselves in an as authentic Greek experience as possible. However our time in Europe is quickly running out and the bank account appears to be diminishing at an ever increasing rate. Our compromise was a week in Benitses on Corfu, a Greek island that's just a thirty minute ferry ride from the Albanian coast. We tried our best to have that authentic Greek experience. Our days went something like this.

Mornings began with us rolling out of bed when we felt like it for a breakfast of Greek yoghurt and honey, and some fresh fruit.

We'd then trek the tough two minutes down to the beach, pull up a sunbed and acquaint ourselves with one of the various cold coffees that the Greek people love so much. We are now very well versed on the differences between a frappe, a freddo espresso and a freddo cappuccino.

After a fairly strenuous four or five hours reading, gazing longingly at Albania, soaking up the sun and jumping into the cleanest and clearest sea we've swum in so far, we'd be feeling a bit peckish. Enter Greece's most beloved export - the mighty gyros.

We'd intended to be very methodical in researching Benitses' best gyros with a goal of trying all that Benitses had to offer before settling on our favourite. But after stumbling upon the particularly nondescript Kebab House and taking that first bite we knew that we'd found our winner. The meat was juicy and moist on the inside and browned exquisitely on the outside, some chopped tomatoes, cucumbers and onions were thrown in, as was handful of chips and then the additions that took the gyros from good to great - the condiments. Firstly, a Tzatziki chock full of so much garlicky goodness that you would immediately feel yourself sweating cloves as the garlic's fire raged around your mouth, and then there was the special sauce. Among other ingredients that we can't remember were oregano, lemon juice, olive oil and some type of mustard. This is special sauce that is truly special. The heavenly combination was all wrapped in a pita like none other that we've had before.

I know everyone at home has their go-to gyros joint and anyone who's been to Greece thinks that they've had great gyros but this is next level stuff. This particular gyros cannot be improved upon. Greece's gift to the world is gyros. The world's gift to us is that gyros.

After that gastronomical delight we'd wander back to our apartment for our daily Ouzo dose and our take on Greek meze - generally some onions and toms drowned in olive oil with olives and some Tzatziki and Taramasalata.

The nights normally ended with too much red wine, another penalty shoot out and another late night.

We also squeezed into that busy schedule a sampling of the Greek classics moussaka, stifado (an oily beef stew with shallots), sofrito (slivers of beef cooked in wine) and Retsina (resinated Greek wine),

souvlaki, Metaxa (Greek brandy), dolmades and baked feta. All delish!

Did we have the experience that we'd hoped for? Probably not. Any authenticity that this small fishing port once had is mostly gone (as evidenced by the English language chalkboards out the front of every single bar and restaurant) and we were probably twenty years late in getting there. Although upon reflecting on the above, I suppose we did a reasonable job. We can't complain too much......

Albania: been there, done that, bought the beach towel

We approached Albania with trepidation. From what we'd read the country was going to be so backward that it would feel like we'd gone back in time by fifty years and people would be amazed to see a mobile phone. Apparently the streets would be would be full of litter and a horse and cart would be the preferred method of transportation. Shit, one of the most popular search results on Google is, 'is it safe to visit Albania?'. 

What did we discover upon arriving in Tiranë (Albania's capital)? A large tent where the chief lives and a heap of people running around with vine leaves covering their bits? Far from it. We found an interesting, modern city filled with attractive, intelligent, exceptionally warm and welcoming people. That theme continued as we made our way down the coast through Vlorë, Himarë and Sarandë and over those few weeks in Albania we felt as close to home as we've been since we left. 

These are a handful of our highlights. 

Lamb feasts at Arti and Taverna Beqo in Vlorë and Sarandë respectively that really did place us at a Brimson/Hatch dinner table. 

Transport in Albania is limited to say that least. The main way that you get around is via a heap of mini buses (sometimes just vans) that connect the key centres within the country. These mini buses are quite the travelling experience. They leave from points such as "in front of the Economics Faculty" and "near the mosque", you all get jammed in like sardines and then off you fly dropping people off and picking people up at places that are far from the designated bus stops that most of us are used to. It's a cosy experience. Without air-con it's an even cosier experience. 

Cold beer is a national obsession. Glasses come from the freezer and go down a treat now that the mercury is beginning to hit 30. And at 50c a beer there's no reason to hold back either.

Being the best looking, most in shape people on the beach in Vlorë. Yes, some of the sights down there were that bad. You really don't want a photo showing just how bad those sights were.

Qofte (essentially cevapi as is found in the rest of Southeastern Europe) with onion, bread and a cheesy take on tzatziki in Tirana. So, fecking, good. 

A hotel with sea views, breakfast and free sunbeds in Europe for less than fifty bucks a night? Yes please Himare!

The lowlights of Albania? There's only one and it involved me swinging my leg over a sunbed and splitting my shorts straight up the middle (exposing myself to everyone around me in the process) and then having to walk the three kilometres back to our accommodation looking like some sort of flamboyant Samoan man.

The Recap - The Balkans (Part I)

As I've stated previously, Croatia and the rest of the Balkans were going to be a massive flop after having such a great time in Iceland. However the region continues to surprise us and given it's managed to provide us some much needed respite from this strenuous travelling game, it's a region that we can wholeheartedly recommend for people to go and see and relax in. 

What We'll Miss
  

• Concrete sunbathing/diving-in-off platforms
• Croatian Prsut... Other countries in the region do their take on this but don't deliver like the Croatians do
• Croatian islands that are actually more spectacular than any pictures could ever have you believe 
• The Bay of Kotor and Kotor in particular - just stunning 
• Meeting up with THE Michael J Clarke in Dubrovnik 
• The friendliness and hospitality of people throughout the region - like guesthouses that will pick you up and and drop you off at the bus station free of charge and barmen that share their chips with you
• The haunting beauty of Mostar and Sarajevo

What We Won't Miss

• Judgement Cat in Split. Everyday we would walk past this particular cat and ignoring our smooching and psswsswsswssss noises it would just stare back at us and judge harder than you've ever seen any other cat judge
• Sea urchins that sit in the shallows ready to drive their needles deep inside your heel
• Gypsy kids in Kotor that stroke your face and hug you in an attempt to get money and food out of you 
• Ulcinj in Montenegro, what a sh*t of a place... 
• Week long thunderstorms. We like a good bit of lightning as much as the next person but not for an entire week. This is our summer. We'd done winter for an entire year, we don't need to be reminded of it..... 
• Those 16° C water temps in Split, what's up with that... 

The Food

THAT squid ink risotto for sure. Nicola rattled off about five other strong contenders when I threw the question out there but you'd come back to Ston for that squid ink risotto alone. 

The Drink

Cheap wine by the litre, even cheaper beer by the litre, powerful and potent raki... All very good but walnut and fig grappas in Split win the chicken dinner. You know when something says that it is aged with, aged on, flavoured with x and you only get a hint of what it says it will taste like and you only think it tastes like that because you know that it should? No risk of that here. The walnut and fig aromas and flavours invade your nostrils and palate immediately and have you calling the waiter over for another. 

Barrie-ometer of "Feel" - oooooooweeeeeee, what's up with that?

Kotor, Kotor, Kotor...

We're on a nice roll of stunning places at the moment and Kotor might just be the pick of the bunch. My words can't do it justice, the photos might.

Consider yourself lucky that some of those photos are in sunshine.  In four days in Kotor we managed to get just a couple of hours of sunshine and fluked them as we climbed the steps of the fortifications. The rest of the time we endured one of those storms where the locals go, "oh this never happens in June, normally sun, sun, sun".

An honourable mention to the guys at Evergreen for keeping us lubricated and Mesara Taniga for providing us a roast chicken feast to remember which included mind-blowingly good potatoes that sit in the juices of rotisseried chicken and lamb all day. Omnomnom.

Korcula, it's Croatian for 'take it easy'

Korcula is an island off the Croatian coast that pretty much fulfils any vision you could have had about how you'd expect the perfect Croatian island to feel and look.

The pace of life is slow (and real Croatians actually live there), the water is the most inviting blue that you have ever seen and there are enough concrete slabs to go round for everyone to sunbathe on and dive in off.

Apart from waking up and wandering down to one of the slabs and then heading back to our guesthouse for beers, we didn't really get up to a whole lot else.

We did however squeeze in cocktails and then an awesome seafood feast at Konoba Adio Mare for someones birthday.

And we also managed to pick a bar to watch the opening game of the World Cup that lost reception at the exact moment that Croatia scored the opener.  Apart from that little blemish, life was pretty sweet on Korcula.

Dropping Fat Meets in Dubtown with Kate an' Dean

A few months ago in Mirleft we met these guys.

After crisscrossing over each others itineraries and catching up for quick beers and cheap eats in Marrakech, Fes, Lisbon and Sarajevo we though it was time for something more substantial.  More booze and more food pretty much.  Dubrovnik was chosen as the meeting point.

Night one started with Nix cooking up a storm and us all getting stuck into a fridge full of beer.  Night one started with empty cupboards and a fridge with no beer as we once again feel victim to the shops closing early on a Sunday.

Instead it was expensive beers in a bar just brimming with atmosphere and decent pizzas at a place around the corner from us.  We ended up fairly merry, all's well that ends well hey.

The next morning never really was and it was early arvo when we were heading into the Old Town for a much hyped sandwich at Buffet Skola.  A simple pršut with cheese and salad wrapped in a thick, cake-like thickness focaccia.

It delivered on what it said it would do.  In the company of a true sandwich aficionado, we did not have a sandwich moment.

After filling our tums it was time to wander Dubrovnik's famous walls, the very walls where Ned Stark was beheaded (#GoTreference).  A lot of Game of Thrones is filmed in Dubrovnik for those of you playing (watching?) at home.

The views from the top of the walls, the standard to which they've been restored/up kept and the social ineptitude of too many people - all breathtaking.

We were a bit parched after that so the brains trust decided that beers back at the apartment and Nix putting the chef's hat on was the best next move.

Move over average sandwich, a calamari and chorizo pasta in ajvar (a spicy SE European capsicum/eggplant based sauce) is where it is at.  The chef killed it, not without the masterful input of her cooking consultant though.

The next day was the pinnacle of the catch up.  A cruise to three of the Elafiti Islands with unlimited wine.  Yes, unlimited wine.

Things got a bit messy.  On the way back from the final island a very noticeable division existed down the middle of the boat - drinkers on one side and non-drinkers (sorry what?) on the other.

The day culminated in Kate and Mike* leaving us stranded on the wrong side of the port as they cruised back to the other and me, quite literally, dragging home and pouring into bed a very inebriated Nicola.

The three of us drank more beer and ate more pizza (by which point "Lazarus" had risen from the dead) and the night ended with Mike and I sat up against the fridge (that's some efficient drunks right there) enjoying an ice cold Brennivin before staggering off to bed.

It goes without saying that the next day was a non-event.  That was until Kate and Mike dusted off the chef's whites and knocked up pork burittos that went a long, long way to shaking those lovely wine/beer/Brennivin hangovers that were sticking around.

And before we knew it Big Mike embraced me like a bear would embrace its cub and our time with the guys was up.

Živjeli!!  Račun!!

*notice the sequence of which I mention 'Kate and Mike' as Kate and Mike and not Mike and Kate.  This is because Kate very much wears the pants.  Sometime back in the early eighties it was decided that Mike was incapable of going out in public with anything that resembles a valuable and it has now digressed to a point where Mike doesn't even own a wallet or have a bank account of his own and must make a weekly application to the Bank of Kate for a few measly pounds.  "Sorry guys, I've only got a quid on me, just a half for me today thanks".

Ston

Prior to Dubrovnik we had a v enjoyable couple of days in a little Croatian town called Ston.

What brought us to Ston you ask?  The world's second longest, still intact ancient wall?  Ha, nope.  We only learnt that fact after getting to Ston.

What about Ston oysters and mussels that are world famous?  Well of course, we are the hungry travellers after all.  Ha, so gay.

We had two meals in Ston.  One at Stagnum and one at Konoba Bakus, both renowned for the quality of the seafood that they churn out.

The feed at Stagnum killed it.  First up were some of the oysters that were more meaty and quite unlike any other oysters that we'd had before.

Then for mains we shared a kilo of the local speciality Buzara mussels and a squid ink risotto.

That squid ink risotto, holy sh*t balls.  We'd had a few of these leading up to this one but this one was next level.  It came out with a sleek black glaze to it and where the olive oil had split the risotto it was ringed with a firey orange ooze.  The risotto tasted like the bounty of the sea and not a single grain of rice was left on that plate.  A real show stealer and it's earned a place in the top five meals of the trip.  So good.

However, leaving Ston wasn't quite as enjoyable.

On the day before we left, we'd checked with the girl at our accommodation what time the bus left to Dubrovnik, 12 midday she said.

The next day we were ready and waiting at the bus stop where a bus was sitting that had a sign on it indicating that it was going to Dubrovnik.  After 30 minutes of waiting and no bus driver I went for a walk to find the tourist info only to discover that the 12 midday bus doesn't run on Sundays and we'd have to wait until 7pm.

Stuff that we thought.  We made a paper sign saying Dubrovnik and set off on the five km walk back to the main road thinking that surely someone would pick us up.

Five minutes in, the torrential downpour commenced and before we knew it we were walking through ankle deep water as car after car passed us and we became resigned to the idea that no one wanted to pick up two smelly, wet backpackers.

We made it to the main road (and somehow Nicola was still smiling) as the rain eased up and then 45 minutes later, after car upon car turned their nose up at us, a local pulled over and we jumped in.

Fifty minutes later, after an extremely broken English/Croatian conversation and learning that the man is married with two boys (and seeing photos of each of them as we almost drove over a cliff) and is a mechanic (thankfully mechanic in Croatian is very close to mechanic in English), and after him repeating countless times, whilst laughing wildly "Australie!  Australie!  So far!!", we'd finally made it to Dubrovnik.  It's a good story, if anything...