Survivor: nomad's land, Koh Totang

A dodgy moto ride and a mini bus packed to the gills with rice wine and gunja supplies for the construction workers plonked us opposite our island paradise for the following four nights. We were picked up in a little runabout, introduced to our fellow contestants and spent the next four gruelling days and nights duking it out against Germans, Poms, Frogs and Sepo's. It was a battle to the death, here are a few actions shots from our four nights at nomad's land on Koh Totang.

Outbungalow

Outhammock

Outkayak

Outgrunt

Outselfie

Outsnorkel

Outread

Outsunrise

And it was at 0945 on the final morning that the Germans sped off and we'd Outwitted, Outplayed and Outlasted all contests. Aside from the ten or so villagers, the owners of nomad's land and its four volunteers, we'd claimed the island for ourselves. Time for a beer, "barman!!".

Chi Phat According to Nicola... A Confession

Every time we end up in the jungle and I complain about the spiders in my personal space, freaking out about possibly having to attempt to pee in the middle of the night and accepting that the amount of sleep I'm going to obtain might as well be zero, well it turns out that these are generally my ideas. For some reason I feel the need to suggest we go to the jungle for god knows what reason and a few months prior I agree it will be fun... Until I'm there and thinking to myself for f*** sake why is this happening AGAIN!!!

Chi Phat is located in the south west of Cambodia and whilst the village used to make its money from logging and poaching, it has completely turned it around to focus on eco tourism and protecting the surrounding jungle and its inhabitants. Someone explained the place to us as 'a real Cambodian village that tourists happen to come to as opposed to a village for tourists' and it is exactly that. After jumping off our bus literally on the side of the highway, we took a two hour boat up the Preak Piphot River to reach our home for the next five nights. 

Accommodation options here are simple - you either stay in a family run guesthouse or you stay in a family's home. We were extremely fortunate in that having located the "pub" and helping ourselves to a beer from their esky, we realised they had rooms in the back yard available and knew it was the place for us. This family were so incredibly friendly, inviting us for lunch and dinner each day, being adopted by their pooch Leup who slept on our doorstep and growled if anything came near, and making friends with their three year old daughter Teda, teaching her English and new games. 

We were made to feel like one of the family and were lucky enough to be included in a rice wine fuelled lunch (the first shots downed at 10.30am) with the extended cousins and uncles and somehow held our own.

We'd walk down the road for our morning noodle soup to have one year olds tearing out of their house to scream hello to us, little boys swarming to show off their fight moves, dogs somehow knowing that we were happy to give them some lovings and a sugarcane juice lady that always appeared as soon as I was craving one. Chi Phat is a pretty awesome village!

We tried our hand at "lobster" fishing, or so it was referred to. We headed out on a boat at about 8pm with nothing but a five pronged spear and a head torch. We cruised along the banks until our guide somehow spotted one and then pow! there was our contribution to tomorrow's lunch. More like a prawn with nippers than a lobster, but still delicious. Excuse the shocking photo.

And then it was time to head to my favourite place... The jungle. Up at the crack of dawn, we took a motorised boat for two hours and then a row boat for 40mins in the hope of some bird spotting.

FINALLY I caught sight of two flying hornbills, one of my favourite birds. Decked out in our finest jungle attire, we were ready to commence the trek.

It was humid and thick, but the best part was the fact that the leeches had decided to go on a feeding frenzy thanks to some heavy rain a few nights earlier. Every five minutes I'd check out my shoes to have to flick off ten of the bastards, our jungle assistant helping with his machete. You'd look at the ground and you could see them reaching out for you - you can definitely see where some horror writers would get their inspiration from! This meant that stopping for a break wasn't so relaxing given you couldn't keep your feet in the same spot for more than a minute. This is the result of the little shitweasels making it through your socks.

We carried on through the jungle to the awesome sound of the gibbons. Still no sightings but they were very close in the tops of the trees. We skipped our lunch stop given our lightening speed and carried on to our camp for the night where we feasted on pumpkin stew and green tea. We had time for an afternoon nap in this delightful set up. Even I had to admit it was super comfortable.

Then in the evening we made our way to a shelter built by the waterhole in the hope of spotting some wildlife. Unfortunately as is so often the case we saw zip. Nothing but a few teeny birds flapping in the undergrowth and getting our hopes up.

At dinner our guide kept flashing his torch underneath the table then proceeded to warn us to watch out for snakes if we go to the toilet during the night (not an issue for me given I'd already spotted a few massive spiders at head height so was not venturing there again, however the alternative of a bush squat meant the likely possibility of having leeches on my bits... Not really liking my options here!). If the king cobra was to bite us then we were literally dead meat because help was too far away, but if it's a normal cobra then don't worry because you just have to get back to the village (ummm... How?) then take a two hour taxi to Sihanoukville where they have the anti-venom at the hospital. Fantastic.

Tucked up in my cosy hammock listening to the jungle was actually nice and the best jungle experience I've had, however due to the bathroom issue I was awake most of the night with a sore stomach and hammocks really aren't made for stomach sleepers. I awoke watched dawn break to the sound of gibbon howls and the flapping of hornbill wings. We set out into the jungle again to make our way back to Chi Phat and the welcoming embrace of Leup.

In order to leave Chi Phat I had to endure another of my favourite pastimes... Riding on the back of a motorbike. My driver was a teenager on a bike with a broken speedo and obviously no helmets. Within the first two minutes we had gone up and down a ramp that I thought there was no way a bike could physically accomplish and then when Brim's driver stopped mine continued to fly onto the one plank ramp to get us onto the river crossing. Sometimes I really dislike travelling.

After the crossing it was a hair raising fifty minute ride on dirt tracks... my butt losing contact with the seat on multiple occasions, my driver covering his eyes so the dirt didn't get in them (who cares about seeing where we are going), dodging potholes and then flying at a ridiculous speed when we finally got to the highway for the few minutes until our destination. I got off that bike with numb cheeks, sweaty palms, shaky knees and trying to somehow blame the whole thing on Brim.

The morals of this story is that I will be purchasing some Air Force grade hammocks when we get home and will be trying my best in the future to NOT make stupid suggestions about sleeping in the jungle.

Ecstatic Pizzas, Cult Temples and the Killing Fields, Welcome to Cambodia! (Part I)

We had six days to go from Si Phan Don in southern Laos to deep inside the Cambodian jungle. All we had to do in that time was see everything that Cambodia's two largest cities have to offer, check out a temple complex that's way off the tourist trail, pay our respect at the Choeung Ek Genocidal Centre and Tuol Sleng (S21) Museum, sort out visas for Vietnam within a day, squeeze in 24 hours of travel, keep you needy lot updated on our movements and sleep, eat and have the odd beer. 

We arrived in Siem Reap way beyond beer o'clock and broke one of our main travel no no's - eating dumbed down local food at foreigner prices at your guesthouse. However, after thirteen hours of travel a cold Angkor was a slice of heaven and helped to soften the blow.

After less than a day in Siem Reap we were nailing it. We'd seen markets, eaten some great street food, organised a tuk-tuk to go and see that little temple the following morning and had bus tickets to get us to Phnom Penh the day after. We were nailing it until this guy sucked us in. 

It was mid afternoon and we had time up our sleeve to squeeze in a pizza, chill for a bit and then head out at night. Unfortunately for us the restaurant owner had different ideas. He took a bit of a liking to us and wanted us to be happy that day. EXTRA happy in fact. "Have good sleep", he beamed as we began the journey back to our guesthouse.

6pm came and went. 11pm came and went. 4am came. Oh no, 4am!! Time to get up, time to get up, time to get to Angkor Wat for sunrise. "Nix? Nix!! You getting up?" A little green monster rolled over and stared back at me and I knew Angkor wasn't happening. You go back to sleep my love, I'll go and have a conversation with our driver and try to explain that you're not well, at four in the morning, through extremely broken English.

Time to reconsider that grand plan. 

The temples of Angkor would have to wait until the following morning. They haven't gone anywhere in a long, long, long time so that was fine. But Phnom Penh would need to be compacted down into one very hectic afternoon and night. 

So, we again woke at 4am and this time it seemed infinitely easier to get out of bed. And safe in the knowledge that we were getting up for this -

it was a breeze.

And we pretty much had the sunrise to ourselves so that was nice.

After witnessing one of the world's most famous sunrises we spent some time wandering around Angkor Wat taking it in in the cool morning air where despite the grandeur of the temple, it was the macaques warming up to a day of mischief that stole the show.

Oh the pleasure in watching a tourist with no understanding of the type of monkey that they had on their hands steal their Oreos from their unsuspecting, weak as a wet hankie, grip. 

Next stop was Angkor Thom and Bayon - the one with all faces

We found our fearless tuk-tuk driver, Mr Dorn, amongst an ocean of tuk-tuks and off we went. The approach to Angkor Thom is quite surreal with 54 gods and 54 demons facing off on the bridge over the moat and it was made all the more surreal by the elephant sauntering along alongside as us we crossed.

Here are some pictures of serene Bayon.

Final stop was Ta Prohm - the jungle one. The one that was used in Tomb Raider

Ta Prohm has been left to continue its battle with the jungle to the point that some trees within the temple are the sticky tape and chewing gum that hold the place together. Some of the roots of the centuries old trees have more heft about them than most other trees can ever aspire to.

It's a lovely, green temple and was a nice one to finish on. Those three epic temples are part of the Small Circuit and to temple buffs it's pretty much sacrilegious to only do those three and to only spend a day at the complex but to us non-temple buffs that was enough. "The Eighth Wonder of the World" (hmm...) had lived up to its billing and we were more than satisfied with our experience. Time for another ice cold Angkor.

CLICK HERE for Phnom Penh and the Killing Fields.

Ecstatic Pizzas, Cult Temples and the Killing Fields, Welcome to Cambodia! (Part II)

For the third straight morning our alarm went off well before day break and we boarded a bus bound for Phnom Penh. Typically it was an hour late and that squeezed an already tight afternoon schedule even more.

First stop was Lucky Motorcycles - the best place in the city to get an expedited Vietnam visa. Literally a visa service in the back of a moto mechanic. It makes sense here, OK.

Next stop, securing a bus ticket for tomorrow morning and finally, dumping our bags at a cheap hotel.

Now came decision time as we only had time left in the afternoon for one of S21, where prisoners of the Khmer Rouge's brutal regime were held, tortured and dehumanised, or the Choeung Ek Genocidal Centre, more bluntly known as the Killing Fields and a place, like roughly 300 other similar centres across Cambodia, where it's estimated that 3 out of 8 million Cambodians came to their unjust end.

We jumped in a tuk-tuk, donned a face mask at the advice of our driver and prepared ourselves for the horror that awaited at Choeung Ek.

It's the contrasts that get you at Choeung Ek where just under forty years ago Cambodians were bludgeoning fellow Cambodians to death in the name of Angka and Pol Pot's deranged regime now exists a peaceful reserve where birds chirp happily in the trees and children laugh and play at the school next door. Those sounds break through the audio commentary of a man who survived the regime and the Killing Fields and each could not be in starker contrast to the other.

For two hours we numbly floated through the Centre trying to imagine and comprehend the atrocities that were committed here.

Some of the lowlights of human existence are the memorial which houses the skulls of those who were killed,

the Magic Tree from which loud speakers hung and would blast out Khmer Rouge songs to mask the sound of people being slain at night,

the mass graves where you can still see shards of bone and human teeth if you look close enough and

the one that really stops you in your tracks, the Killing Tree, which babies skulls were smashed against and they were then unceremoniously thrown into a grave, whilst their mothers watched. As I said, lowlights of our existence.

And on that solemn note we departed Phnom Penh for something, hopefully, a lot brighter.