From Bus to Bus to Bean to Cup - Luang Prabang to Pakse

We awoke at 6AM to squeeze in a noodle soup and a Lao coffee before hopping in a tuk-tuk to catch a bus bound for Vientiane, the capital of Laos. This is a face I've become oh so too familiar with in Asia - the half asleep, zombified Nicola drowsy yet content with her bowl of porky broth.

The bus took off half an hour late - no biggie, clocks and time aren't really a thing in Laos. They're just a rough guide and we'd become accustomed to that by this point. 

We left Luang Prabang and crawled up mountains for hours finally stopping at 1PM for lunch after the requisite couple of roadblocks and pee stops. However this was a fancy farang bus, no roadside bush weeing here. Instead you pay 2000 Kip for bathrooms with no doors and for the second time in two months I opened the door to a woman squatting, stretching desperately to try and push the door shut. Really? Why me?

We shared lunch with this dude. He was cool, if a bit sad.

On we pushed in our VIP King of Bus and it was mid afternoon that we realised this bus wasn't getting to Vientiane by 6PM, or anywhere near that time. Car after after truck after truck after crazy truck-bus thing were lined up not going anywhere. 

We got off the bus and the entire village was by the roadside watching proceedings and it became apparent that this wasn't your normal roadworks stop. Something a bit more serious was at play. The rumours began - 'someone's rolled their car and we're stuck', 'there's been mudslide', etc, etc...

After about an hour watching ladies bathe in their sarongs and pigs snorting around all over the place our driver threw his hands up, tooted the horn and signalled for everyone to get back on the bus. We drove slowly past the procession of vehicles and discovered why we hadn't gone anywhere - a two k stretch of thick, wet, muddy, clay that no one was willing to attempt driving through. Bar our exceedingly optimistic bus driver.

We began to crawl through the mud, you could have literally walked faster. At one point we almost slowed to a stop, the wheels began to spin in the mud and a couple of locals gave a look like what the f*ck does this guy think he's up to. Bravery is rewarded though and he somehow got us through it. Now only a further five hours to go on old bumpy roads that are falling to pieces lay ahead.

All of this would have been a lot more bearable if not for the five young, very obviously private schooled, English girls who talked sh*t the entire journey. They genuinely didn't have an interesting, enlightening conversation during the 15 hour trip. And one of them would decide to sing a few lines from a Spice Girls song every now and again. That pretty much epitomised the intelligence of the pack of moths that populated the back of the bus.

We finally arrived at the bus station, still a half hour tuk-tuk from central Vientiane along roads and through a part of Laos that made you feel like you were arriving in the most backward of backwaters - not the capital of a country.

Once in Vientiane, we circled a couple of blocks looking for a guesthouse where by 10pm all were either full or had rooms available at thrice our budget. We fluked a cheap room with a fan, no bedbugs and the faint smell of sewage being emitted from the bathroom. It was a win at the time.

The great thing about arriving late somewhere in Laos is the 11PM curfew so by the time we were ready to hunt out dinner everything was closed and the best we could do was a cup of noodle soup, a five day old steamed bun, a chocolate bar and a beer from a mini mart. We were smitten with Vientiane at this point.

Aside from an epic storm the following day complete with exploding power poles, fire extinguishers caked in five years of dust and grime and the very real concern that we were about to witness someone getting electrocuted whilst they fiddled around with the power pole in the rain in thongs, Vientiane didn't really make us regret our planned one night stop.

Here are some awe inspiring photos from Vientiane.

Thankfully, we were heading south and Vientiane was just a stepping stone to Pakse. We took an overnight sleeper bus. This wasn't just any bus though.

All the seats are taken out and replaced with flat beds complete with pillows and Winnie the Pooh blankets, making for the best overnight transport experience you could ever imagine. Oh, and the fact that we took enough Valium to knock out a water buffalo.

We landed in Pakse at about 730AM and were checked into a guest house by 756AM. Can you imagine doing that in many places other than here? 

We'd intended to do a trek from Pakse but when the guy at the travel agency was like, "oh, you might be lucky and hear some birds in the distance", we decided to save the US$340 and hopped on a scooter and headed to Tad Fane waterfall instead, where Koffie runs tours of coffee plantations and takes you through a roasting workshop. Yes, you read right, Koffie's Coffee.

The tour was interesting seeing the differences between the Robusta and Arabica trees and tasting coffee berries but the workshop was the headliner.

Koffie moved to a town not far from Pakse and through trial and error taught himself to roast beans in a wok (an implement you're obviously never far from here).

Within an hour Koffie had us in control of the wok and whilst we aren't able to get the kind of consistency in roasted beans that you'd get from a bag at home, we'd created something that was very drinkable.

Koffie immediately ground up the freshly roasted beans and we enjoyed a still quite green tasting but very enjoyable cup of the good stuff. By this point the sun was starting to drop and Koffie pushed us out the door, two freshly roasted bags of beans in tow, and we cruised back to Pakse with Nicola clinging onto the back of our moped and the sun sinking down below the mountains making for a beautiful end to one hell of a great excursion.

Koffie's concept is simple. You don't get there and fiddle around with tens of thousands of dollars of machinery and create a cup of coffee that you have no hope of replicating at home. You wok roast the beans, grind them up in a simple burr grinder and brew them with the classic Italian moka pot. You walk away with the confidence that with a bit of your own trial and error you'll be able to reproduce a decent coffee at home, from green beans to cup. 

On top of all of that, Koffie is a cracking guy learn from. All details on his workshop can be found here.

Now it's time for hammocks, beers and nothingness at Laos' famous 4000 Thousand Islands.

High on Chiang Mai

After years of dreaming, we'd finally made it to Chiang Mai. I can't put my finger on exactly what it was that made us become so obsessed with making it there but after just 24 hours in the city anything we'd ever hoped for had been realised.

Just 15 short hours of travel got us there and the first port of call was a bowl of noodle soup followed by a few beers on the moat that rings the city, watching rats crawl in and out of drain pipes and a father and son attempt to hook a few of the fish that the moat is loaded with. They told me the name of the fish but I don't seem to be able to write or translate Thai.

The next morning we headed off and fed our temple addiction before walking out to Akha Ama. 

Coffee is a big, big deal in Chiang Mai and these guys are one of the main players. I started off with a decent espresso and Nix a cold drip, or 'Black Juice' if you will, and we shared a shakerato (a double espresso shaken with ice) which presents like a Belgian brune and has been added to the home recreation list.

We stopped at a couple of other nice thirdwave outlets and it never ceases to amaze me how impressive these coffeeshops in places like Chiang Mai are. A lot of what we saw in Chiang Mai wouldn't be out of place back home.

The rest of our time was spent lounging around, plotting our next moves, reading and refining backgammon strategies before heading out at night to one of the many, many markets that make Chiang Mai so famous. There is some very cool stuff on offer and good food. There's also a f*ckload of swanning.

We've just come from the east where people move through markets in a clockwise direction and it's one of those moment in your existence where you go, 'wow! People can operate together in a logical manner and not defy rational thought'. In Chiang Mai though? Throw a few tourists in the mix and all that rational thought goes out the window.

People go against the tide, across the tide, whole groups stop in the middle of proceedings and people just generally become disgustingly selfish and outside of what they want in that exact moment, nothing else matters.

So yes, the markets were cool but god people can be shit.

Our market highlights were the morning Warowot and Dok Mai markets. We started off with breakfast in an alley tucked beside Dok Mai that consisted of Crispy Krullers and pandan Kaya with two steaming hot glasses of sweetened soy milk on the side.

After that we wandered through the Dok Mai market seeing someone else's breakfast writhing about before I let Nix loose in Warowat market.

She passed the Thai wife test acquiring some Chiang Mai style sausage, Nam Prik Noom and pork rind, and some coconut jellies. Second breakfast of the morning was served.

Of course there were some other food highlights too. Khao Kha Moo from the cowboy hat wearing lady at Khao Kha Moo Chang Phueak, Northern Thai style Laab at Sorn Chai and a pomello Som Tam at Huen Phen were all very memorable and have left a very nice Chiang Mai flavoured taste in our mouths...

Malatya, not really comin' at ya...

This is where I should tell you about our time driving around Southeastern Anatolia.

Instead, here's the rant that Nicola sent her Mum:

Woke up at 3am, 30min walk with packs, shuttle to airport, flight to Malatya, shuttle into town, killed 3 hours before picking up car, car place closed at 11.30 when we got there, arrives 12.15, worker speaks no English, have 5 of his friends explaining to us in broken English that there are no cars available despite our printed booking confirmation and full payment having been made, there will be cars available in a week, ask at 3 other car rental places - no cars available, walking around Malatya in the midday sun with packs and getting starred at a ridiculous amount. Moral of the story... No cars in Malatya, having a fight with cartrawler who we booked through to try and get a refund (they told brim on the phone that because we were reporting the issue after the start time of the booking that no refund could be given....how could we have known that they wouldn't have a car available...wankers!!!)

What I'm trying to say to you here is next time you're looking at booking a rental car, look no further than cartrawler.

Thankfully, we managed to catch the end of apricot season in the apricot capital of Turkey. I thought that I knew what a good apricot tastes like. I didn't.

Figs that cost .50c for half a kilo went a long way to easing the pain.

And having shop owners insist on having photos taken with us strange looking characters also made us fell pretty good.

 

Significant Insight from the Significant Other - When things don't go according to plan...

So given that we have now been on the road for 4 months I thought it appropriate to share some of our mishaps (that weren't Brims fault!) along the way.  Luckily none of them have had a devastating effect and we managed to work around them, however at the times themselves it was like the world was going to end.  Counting backwards from most recent...

The Hungry ATM

Within 5 minutes of setting foot in Slovakia and arriving in its capital, disaster struck.  Having come from Czech which uses its own currency we needed to get out some money to stock back up on Euros.  Conveniently finding an ATM on our walk from the bus station, we entered in our request as per usual and waited for it to be processed. The machine made a strange sound, a message saying "this is an invalid transaction, your card will be retained" popped up on screen and then it went back to its home page as if nothing had happened.  Oh dear!

We stared at the screen in disbelief for about 5 minutes and then panic set in.  The ATM was connected to a bank but it was a Saturday morning so they were closed and we were leaving Bratislava Monday morning before they would open again.  Shit shit shit.  After a few deep breaths we remembered that we actually have a second identical card which could be used to withdraw the Euros instead, but the panic we felt using that card, dreading that the same exact thing would happen again, was horrifying!  After a fun phone call back to Oz to work out what we should do about the card (which involved Brim hanging out of the window to get reception), the moral of the story was nothing.  If we wanted a new one reissued then they would also cancel the second card that we still had and were using...  Fantastic!

Hostel F Up

After we had booked our accommodation in London, an offer was released for a free night during the week and given our budget, a free night anywhere is too good to pass up!  So we emailed to see if they could change our booking so we could benefit from the discount and after a million emails back and forth we were finally able to book our four nights with Matt as two separate bookings, thus including a free night.

When we checked in we specifically asked if we would need to change rooms or do anything different given technically we had two separate bookings, to which we were assured we needed to do nothing, stay in the same room and same beds and she would make sure the cleaners knew about the arrangement.  Well, after arriving back at the hostel on our final night our key cards wouldn't let us into the building.  Security let us in and when we went to reception the man pointed out that "obviously the cards wouldn't work because we didn't check out that morning" like we should have done and we would now need to check back in.  Annoying....  But fine, until he also told us that that involved a completely separate room.  Let the games begin!

Having had quite a few beers under our belts by this point we were not amused by their error or the fact that it was somehow our fault and problem.  We were let back into the old dorm room to get our stuff but new people were in our beds which previously had been pilled with our clothes etc given we thought we were coming back (how the cleaners didn't think 'oh, it's a little strange for someone to have checked out leaving their entire life on the bed', is beyond me!).  Our packs were still under the beds thankfully however everything outside of our packs had gone.  For the next hour I was taken to the luggage room and the lost property room to sort through all the shit trying to find our stuff.  On multiple occasions I was told "Let's just wait until the morning and see if they show up", which was extremely helpful given we were leaving early the next morning, Matt back to Oz and us to see family.  As a final resort the boys asked to go back to our old dorm to have a final check for our missing objects and managed to find them, in a pile with someone else's stuff.

When Google Maps goes Apple Maps

To get from Amsterdam to London we decided to fork out the exorbitant £30 for the 3 of us to go via bus.  The only catch with this (other than the long time on a bus) was that the bus left from somewhere on the outskirts of Amsterdam and according to Google maps would involve a tram to the end of the line and then a 20min walk over a bridge.  Simple!  Having rained all day we weren't really looking forward to doing this at 8pm but London awaited us.

We successfully got on and off the tram at the correct points and were quite pleased that we had made it half way.  From the tram stop we could see the bridge we wanted to cross but no real way of getting to it.  In the dark and rain we climbed up the side of a few roadside hills to finally make it to sort of where we needed to go.  It didn't look promising though...  There was no traffic on it and it looked as though midway down was a huge amount of roadworks, but Google had said that's how we crossed so we started walking.  It was at this time that the thunder and lightning also started.

After walking for a good 10mins we reached mid way of the bridge where there were indeed roadworks and no way to cross so around we turned.  We were now starting to panic a little as it was past 830 and our bus left at half nine and we had no idea how to get there.  We could go back to the tram to take us to another stop to get another line which would get us there...  But we didn't know the tram numbers and there was no map at the stop to help with that.  So we walked towards the road and managed to flag a taxi (not ever within a backpackers' budget!) who drove straight to the bridge which was closed.  We did make it to the bus in time so all was well but it was not a very enjoyable few hours!

When you can't get off the Train

Going from Munich to Uberlingen via train should have been quite a straight forward journey with one connection.  Poor Brim was still feeling very sorry for himself as this was the day after the food poisoning incident (also known as Oktoberfest).  As our final stop was coming up we started to get our packs together and head for the door.  Normally we would do this about 5mins before we should arrive but as we were approaching the station we went through a tunnel and so didn't get up until there was light on the other side.   The train came to a halt very quickly after the tunnel and meant we were still making our way to the door when it arrived as opposed to being ready and waiting to get off.

Swarms of school children came charging on through the door and adults with luggage pushed straight into us.  No one was even a little bit interested in stopping so that we could get off.  Once the onslaught ceased we finally got to the door to have it locked in our face and off went the train.  Not ideal.

So for the next 20 minutes (which we didn't know how long it would be at the time) we were stood in a weird compartment near the door which had no air-con so we were sweating profusely, Brim was already trying his best not to throw up everywhere, and thanks to the lack of suspension in this compartment we were being thrown about with a front seat view of all the angles a train shouldn't be capable of, so I too was now trying not to be sick.  What a relief when the train finally stopped and we got off....  To wait another 40mins to get the same train back the 20mins in the opposite direction to finally make it to Uberlingen.  An enjoyable 90 minute detour!

Things that have broken/been lost along the way

One of Brim's fillings
My jeans
Brim's jeans
Multiple brain cells
Brim's thongs
Our charging cables
My gloves
Brim's toenail

Significant Insight from the Significant Other - Rabid Pigeons of Rotterdam

It's that time again....  Rant time!  This time my rage is fully focused on our Rotterdam accommodation, so much so that poor Rotterdam doesn't get a post of its own, just the rant, and will forever be tainted in our minds.

So we had booked accommodation with airbnb (for those who don't know it's where you book a room or apartment directly with the owner for short stays) and had a nice apartment lined up for our first few nights in the Netherlands.  Two nights before we arrived we got an email from the owner saying there had been emergency maintenance on the property and as such we could no longer stay, however he had arranged an alternative apartment for us which was actually more expensive and in a better location etc.  Sweet we thought...  Nice of him to do that for us and certainly happy with any kind of upgrade.

Oh dear.... We arrived and whilst in a brilliant location, about 5mins walk from the station, that is where the ticks ended.  As soon as you entered the 'apartment', and I use this term extremely loosely, you were hit with an overwhelming smell of mould, old and damp.  After dumping our bags in the bedroom, I noticed black hairs on the pillow and doona case, and dumbly I decided to check in the bed..... Novice move!  Matt's bed was two blow up mattresses on top of each other making it so high up that he could hardly get on it (but at least his sheets were clean!)

Next fun discovery was the kitchen.  The utensils consisted of cutlery, a broken wooden spoon and a pair of disposable chopsticks.  Certainly not the "well equipped kitchen" as promised.  The frying pan was still full of grease and one of the pots was so rusty that I wouldn't have dared eaten from it.  The plates were covered in little specks of rust from the hinge on the cupboard door.  The fridge was on such an angle that you couldn't open the door if there were beers in it.  The power board that had the kettle, toaster and microwave plugged in didn't actually work.  And the kitchen space was non-existent because a table and chairs had been moved there from where Matt's bed was because it turns out the apartment was only for two people.

And then there was the outside....  Wow!  Welcome to the pigeon ghetto!  This is what we found directly outside our door.

We are all pretty sure that a pigeon exploded here!  I have never seen so many pigeons in such a small space.  Every apartment we could see was covered in poo and feathers and they made the most disturbing sounds all night.  There's no better noise to wake up to than a chorus of pigeons purring and slapping salmons outside your window.

And this is outside according to his site vs reality.  Hrm.

On top of all this the wifi wouldn't connect and we had to hack into the restaurant next door's so that I could send an email explaining our grievances.  Surprisingly we were told that his friend would contact us the next day to show us an alternative.  Whilst we weren't too excited about having to spend a night here, we were pleased that it would only be one and that the next day would solve all our problems.

Wrong....  We heard nothing from the "friend" until 12pm when there was a knock on the door and there he was saying he could show us the alternative now if we were free.  What a joke!  No warning, what if we had gone out like normal ppl instead of waiting around and hoping he would turn up.  So off Brim and I went for the 30min walk to show us the alternative while Matt was left to start packing up our shit.  On the way we were told we were actually being offered two apartments that shared a bathroom so that there was more room for the three of us... Things were sounding great!  Unfortunately, these two "apartments", again using the term EXTREMELY loosely, were glorified crack dens and were somehow worse than where we were.

So we ended up staying where we were and made do with the shitty situation.  The wifi didn't get fixed until 9pm the second night and still didn't work after we could actually connect so they shouldn't have bothered.  When we left the apartment was in a better state than when we arrived so they had a win there!  The cable TV surprisingly worked so we did get to watch hours of Spongebob dubbed in Dutch, much to our amusement.

Rant over.

Significant Insight from the Significant Other - Shizer People

So I thought it was about time that I wrote a post for this blog and instead of sharing lovely photos of food and telling you about the magnificent time that we are having, I'm going to share my rants...  The first being Shizer people.

As you all know, I love people, and boy have we experienced an excellent cross section of douche bags in the past 3 weeks.  All of the following stories are 100% true and have all been people that we have had to share a dorm with at some point.

Düsseldorf - so this was our first night in a dorm which was full with eight other people.  I was hitting  the prime of a cold that I had brought with me from Oz and was in desperate need of sleep after a day of exploring. Our bunk was right by the door which needed a code to be opened,  so some noise was to be expected,  but we managed to fall asleep quite quickly.

About half an hour later though, the main light is switched on and we are immediately awoken.  Two girls (no need to mention their nationality) notice that we are asleep, whisper loudly to each other and then proceed to pack and unpack their ginormous rolling suitcases for the next hour and a half right next to our bed!  In this dorm each bed has its own lamp so that the main light didn't need to be on - obviously this wasn't good enough.  Also, they could have taken those suitcases and rolled them out into the empty hall to do whatever was so desperately important.

The absolute worst thing about all this was that each and every item within the suitcases was then inside it's own individual plastic bag - the constant sound of rustling for this amount of time was infuriating and enough for us to cringe every time we've heard that noise since.

Berlin - here we were in a six bed dorm with only one other bed being used,  sweet!  It was empty when we arrived but when we went back at half 5 he was asleep.  Fair enough, people need naps or early nights. However, he was still in bed when we got home early the next morning, in there when we got up at about 9 and still in bed when we left for the day at 11!  This is horribly annoying because having to whisper at 11am really shouldn't be a thing and it meant having to do everything in the dark.  Then just to be different,  the next night he didn't come back at all until 8am the next morning - weird!

Dresden - in a half empty 12 bed dorm, loved the two Aussies that came home while we were sleeping, switched on the massive main light (where again there were lamps for each bed as well as a corridor light as you came into the room that we had intentionally left on to prevent this exact thing happening!), said "oh, people are sleeping!" and then proceeded to have a full on loud conversation and left the light on...  Boo!

Leipzig - this one's a bit different because we were the Shizer people!  We had an alarm set and woke up before it went off so decided to go for a shower (which was in our dorm) and I swear that I turned off that alarm.  Got out of the shower to hear the alarm going in the room, 10 mins after it was originally set so it had gone off twice while someone was trying to sleep...  Bad bad people!

Bamberg - here we had three heroes in total.  Only six beds so not really room for half to be douches!  The first was asleep fully dressed in jeans etc late afternoon when we came to get a few things.  Still  asleep when we got home late that night, got up (loudly) after a night of snoring and farting at about 7am, and then came back to bed, still fully dressed an hour later.  He had put his doona cover on his mattress, instead of the doona,  and putting the slip on the pillow was all just too hard.  He was still asleep fully dressed in the same clothes that night when we got back.  Weirdo!  Super glad when he left the next morning!

Then we had the Italian who didn't get home until about 7am the first morning,  moaned disgustingly loudly in his brief hour of sleep and then left again after a loud phone call and applying about 5 different colognes! This guy spoke to himself, flopped loudly around in his thongs and generally existed louder than anyone I've heard before.

And last we had our friend on one of the top bunks who sniffed and snorted continuously whether he was asleep or not, as well as the usual snoring and general smell of grossness.

Just a trilogy of generally great guys - stoked to have gotten them all at once!

Rant over.